actings

16.09.2018 hey salve!! it is 23:23 oh clock at a third sunday and i
jumped out of my breath into the bermudafunk studio 1 ! the first
time after 4 years i came too late- (1h by car from my home) in
such case, the lovely data processor starts automatically the
latest show of mine-in this first 23minutes you could listen when
my guest dominic was there-we a have a pub together-love, the
universe brought us there together just in time, when i was in need
to find a business partner. and this is for me, i think for him
too- a very huge challenge! cause, we are so different from our
creatures, where 2 worlds crashes into one- in this show, honestly
i dont felt well with him, cause in these times, ive recognized,
that i was on my changing, "enlightening" way- and he was still
grim and very nerved, also by me. also i´ve listened today out, my
own "wrong"attitudes,my unnatural and unpleasant behavior and
conversation against him, buh uhuh! i found out, that we are
showing us each other with our opinions,behaviors, patterns,beings,
attitudes many things, which each of us haven`t got integrated, or
were not awared yet in ourselves. it was just like that i couldn`t
believe and understand there the many different ways and signs of
love- yeah, the moment came, where i´ve woke up and found finally
the button of my selfloving in me again! so. i was walking in my
peace and learning directions being- but had always to balance his
negative vibes he sent out around him- also i was still injured by
his talks he had behind me to others, i found out- but my "blind
heart" couldnt believe what happened and i was not brave enough yet
to tell him this. and he thought about me things, which were
misinterpreted- well, cause i´m mirroring him also the things he
dont wants to look at. we weren´t able to find a way of healthy
communication. we were not longer at the same eye height- neither
as business partners, or friendship, nor man and woman level. 1.5
years it took time, that i´ve had mistreated myself- i´ve
disclaimed my self and for what i stand for. every word he said, or
i- was "wrong"- we´d "discussed" about superstupid things u would
never discuss- it was very suffocating sometimes and ended up, that
we don´t wanted to see us each other- but had to work together!
aaahh also the pub and his guests suffered through this
disrespectful, sick way- for so long- :/ i wonder, how long it
needs time sometimes, until i can heal or act.( but well come on
hey,stay cool, taylan!) so, but why the hell i should need such
someone in my life anymore? in these months i´ve made a lot of
healjourneys to myself- i´ve reflected everything and healed my
wounds of my childhood in the roots-which have brought me into this
situation and being. yes, the journeys and insights, were very hard
but heartily. i became aware why we act like we do and what the
deeper reason is behind why we discuss about bullshits. the day was
born.shortly before christmastime 2018,the playoffs of my truth to
myself and to dominic.first then i could stood bravely against at
my fear, to loose a friend, a partner, someone who i could have
once trust in and love somehow.it was a sudden by accident call of
him.he knows me well and could listen in my voice thats something
wrong..we must be soulfriends. so,then it came the point of my
portal day-i felt ready since few days.. but waited for a suitable
moment but he also wanted to talk.i´ve told him everything what is
going on inside of me- my feelings, his treatments, that we are not
the same as we once were, his behaviors, all everything what stands
ironly between us and also the existing and reason of the pub data
77112. waouw! one urgent time in my life, where i was or had to be,
so much honest and directly- what a chance to grow. while having
this conversation i´ve thought my heart will could explode now any
time mon diéu!! but my inner lovely soul was at the same time so
silent.,,,aeh FULLTEXT NEXT EPISODE SWIPE IT huch !!:)