126-Emotional Blackmail - Buddhism in daily life

Emotional Blackmail


Emotional blackmail is well known to all of us, probably every
one of us has tried it. No matter if children or governments,
again and again other people try to manipulate us strategically
through emotions.


The goal of emotional blackmail is to make the victim feel
anxious, guilty, or even have a guilty conscience, and of course
to be willing to do what the blackmailer(s) want us to do.


If others threaten us with feelings, whether individually or from
a group, then caution is always required, because we are to be
put under pressure, manipulatively and unobjectively moved to an
action (or omission).


Notorious is the so-called love withdrawal, which is supported
with sulking, crying or raving. Often the partner then complies,
perhaps for the sake of peace, or because an underlying fear
arises, one does not want to "disappoint" the partner, or because
one gives in out of a "sense of duty". But if the partner notices
that he/she can get away with this trick, the partner will be
manipulated again and again, therefore the following applies:
Resist the beginnings!


According to Buddha, we should always look behind the scenes
anyway, don't let anyone fool us. If you loved me, you would
......, the number must not become the standard. Especially the
teacher of all teachers admonished us not to have any
attachments, so in such a case then also draw the necessary
consequences, right at the beginning, otherwise it is usually too
late.


How to recognize emotional blackmail? Usually it is done with
very disparaging comparisons, such as: My girlfriend's husband
really loves her, because ....., or threats are brought up,
reproaches are made. This creates a structure of superiority and
subordination in the relationship, the blackmailer gets power,
begins to exploit the emotional dependence, and of course also to
enjoy it. Fears of loss are built up, in general emotional
blackmailers work mainly with fears.


As a result, self-doubt and feelings of guilt are aroused, which
are then further exploited, the matter becomes a vicious circle.


Who now avoids open conflicts, has already lost, here helps only
to oppose with all his strength, otherwise the matter goes on and
on, until a usually bitter end.


Whoever remains silent here will end up as a doormat, this sick
behavior pattern must be broken, a correct and open communication
must take the place of the spiral of silence.


Therapeutic help should also be sought here without hesitation,
because emotional blackmail is a form of behavioral disorder that
can quickly drift into pathological.


Your own needs are important, not those of the blackmailer. If
necessary, you have to stop the play, at least for a while.


The way is the goal!


Own mistakes are hard to see; with strangers you easily reach the
goal. Everyone rolls the dice for foreign mistakes; one hides
one's own, no matter how many, cunningly, like a cheat, brings
false dice in the game.


- Buddha - honorary name of Siddharta Gautama - 560 to 480 before
the year zero





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