007-Buddhism in daily life - The forgiveness

In every relationship between people one day the question arises
whether "one" can, must or should forgive the other person for
his words or deeds.


Whoever gives it any thought at all, can.


Who thinks about it longer, who should.


Who does not feel comfortable in his skin, must even.


When it comes to forgiveness, many people find it very difficult,
the grievance often sits deep, "one" is hit, the things burden
us. But why is one hit, but only because one's own expectations
were not met.


Of course, you can simply suppress the painful memory, bury it
deep in your mind's palace. But does that really bring anything?


The Buddhist way is to pass over the painful situation with
forbearance and generosity, because Buddhists know that the
perceived reality is only a felt one, that this event could be
viewed through a different filter, and thus a completely
different result would emerge.


Easy to say, but sometimes hard to do. So how can we forgive?


Now, when someone asks us for forgiveness, "making peace" is not
so difficult, after all, our counterpart has "jumped over" his
own shadow in the process, has "accepted" the consequences of
asking for forgiveness.


The closer we are to the person, the easier it is for us to
forgive this person, for example, we forgive family members or
spouses much more easily. With "strangers" it is much more
difficult to practice forgiving.


It also often helps to "let the grass grow over the matter", as
anger, rage or disappointment often fade quickly.


And don't forget, simply asking for forgiveness already eases our
pain a lot, as we quickly feel "loved" again, no longer feel
offside, no longer see the act as "malicious."


At the beginning of a grievance (shortly after) we often cannot
understand why the other person hurt us, we then have to sort out
our feelings first. It is when thoughts are constantly circling
around the hurt or the person who inflicted it on us that the
coping process is just beginning. Take your time, because time
heals all wounds!


After a certain time, the willingness to forgive increases,
because the pain has become smaller, the feelings have sorted
themselves out.


Now it can help to put ourselves in the position of the person
who hurt us. Why did he/she do it? What were the motivations? And
also the question whether we ourselves have not done something
similar before, that helps in the process of forgiving.


Then comes the moment when we have to let go, check off the
slight and the wrong, otherwise the bad emotions will "eat us
up", we also keep circling around the same thoughts.


Can you recognize your own need for harmony and finally find
peace?


You should forgive the other person to spare yourself, to allow
your ego to be at peace again. This is first about you, only
secondarily about the other person. Because you can only live
together with your environment properly if you rest in your
center.


The way is the goal!





Mistakes can always be forgiven, if you have the courage to admit
them.


- Bruce Lee - Sino-American actor - 1940 - 1973





Please also download my app "Buddha-Blog
English" from the Apple and Android stores.